Ask The Swag Gal – May 4, 2011

Today’s Ask The Swag Gal comes from a heart broken Swaggernaut:

“Hey SwagGal,

Have you experienced break-ups in a long term 3 year relationship?
What is considered normal in grieving for this relationship?
What are the steps that you need to take to cope with such a break up?
and How do you know if you are over the break-up?

Thanks for your advice.”

I first must say that I am terribly sorry you have found yourself in this situation.  Losing the one you love is never easy – for anyone.  Whenever, wherever, or however a break-up occurs, it can be heart wrenching.  It is important to deal and cope with a break-up in the most effective ways, as to allow you to move on with your life quickly and facilitate your healing process.  I found a great article featuring the top 10 ways to cope with a break-up, and I believe some of these techniques could definitely prove to be useful for you.

Accept The End

– Once the break-up happens, it is important to accept it.  If you dwell on the hope that your relationship will miraculously mend it’s way back together, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and hindering yourself from moving on.

Respect Yourself

-You should never blame yourself for a break-up.  The right person is certainly out there for you and will come along at the right moment.  Respect yourself enough to give yourself another chance to be happy.

Pamper Yourself

– It is extremely tough to go through a break-up.  Try replacing your negative thoughts with positive ones, and move your focus towards things you enjoy.  Take yourself out to the movies, go on a vacation, pick up a new hobby, binge out on your favorite food.  Wash away your hurt by indulging yourself.

Connect With Your Family

– Don’t take the love in your family for granted.  “Count your blessings in the love of your family, your close friends and renew these wonderful emotional bonds.”

Allow Yourself To Heal

– Don’t be so quick to jump into a new relationship.  The idea of rebounding under such raw emotions will only be a time-waster and could hurt you in the long run.  “Look for new relationships only when you can look back on the broken one without pain. Learn from the relationship and move ahead.”

Forget Revenge Mode

-Falling in and out of love is very common.  Although break-ups are upsetting, but they happen to almost everyone.  Break-ups can be “emotionally shattering because they are interpreted as rejection. However, it is not rejection. It is a way to say that “I am not getting what I want from you.” This is fine – nothing personal. Everybody is entitled to their opinion and happiness. Respect this choice and forget revenge. When you hate or plot for revenge, you can never let go of the past.”

Time Is The Best Healer

– It will certainly take time to flush all of the hurt out of your body.  Do not rush the process along, as if you do, “the clogged emotions would erupt one day in a harmful way. Realize that the hurt would leave you gradually just as a wound would gradually heal.”

To see all ten ways to cope with a break-up, click here.

I hope this helps in your healing process, and I wish you the best of luck!


P.S. – Have a question for me?  Send it to